So much to be thankful for!

I'm going to blame my lack of posting to seriously being busy (it's genuinely true)! I can't believe it has been four months since our little guy has been home. I often go back to the photos and few videos of when we first met and am in awe of how much he has learned and grown.

He's gained 7 pounds and is 3 feet exactly. His eating habits have gone from eating everything he can get his hands on to being very picky. Is it something about the color green that automatically turns kids off? He was fully potty trained in early October. He loves to be read to and I saw him today trying to read a Dr. Seuss book (my educator heart went pitter patter). Still loves tubby time...especially bubbles...and doesn't mind having his hair washed anymore. He loves his Nani and Nana. His best friend is his 11 year old cousin, Kat. He switched from one preschool to another and is going 5 days (and we LOVE it and are so happy we made the change). He loves Yo Gabba Gabba and a close runner up is Jungle Junction. He loves big trucks (just like his daddy). He sleeps in his own bed (still in our room, but we're hoping to get his room ready soon) and 95% of the time he sleeps through the night. He's like a parrot and repeats everything...he loves to say Good Morning, thank you, and I love you so much. He loves looking at himself in the mirror....I think he knows how cute he is. He still loves kisses and family hugs. Sometimes he does get tired of mommy giving him lots of kisses. Oh....and he still LOVES to dance! Every once and a while, he will make his own beat.

It's hard to imagine life without him. As Mark blessed the family dinner last night, he added how thankful we are that the long wait to bring Nathaniel home concluded this past July and we have him here with us. We are still learning one another and we know it will take time. But, I do love waking up each morning and wondering what the day will bring. We still have one more visit from our social worker before we go to the local courts and make the adoption official.


First time in the pool - July 2011:

First trip to the zoo - August 2011:


Birthday - August 2011:


First hair cut - October 2011:


Pumpkin Patch - October 2011


Halloween - October 2011:
He was Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. Mom was out of town for a few days and he carved pumpkins with dad.


Yo Gabba Gabba Live - November 2011:

10 days later....

It's been exactly ten days since we ended the long wait and met our baby boy, Nathaniel. We've been home for a little under a week and creating many firsts: first car set ride on Monday, first time stepping on grass, first time seeing a park, first time in a stroller, etc... We have learned that each first is not pleasurable for him. But, he quickly gains comfort. For example, he loves being in the stroller...can't get enough of it.

He continues to talk a lot. Getting better with English words. Even better with his name. His given name was Bhargav, so we have made that his middle name. To get him used to his new first name, we have been calling him Nathaniel Bhargav and will have been slowly easing into just Nathaniel. He loves saying his name....





He is doing much better with eating time, still screams his head off when we try to put him down for sleep, loves tubby time (not the hair washing part), is using the potty and loves to brush his teeth (he won't give me the toothbrush). What a difference in just a week and a half!!

Days 6 & 7

Day 6 - Friday, July 8th
This was our last full day in Delhi. We can't wait to get home and start getting Nathaniel used to his new home. We had a nice late start to the morning where Nathaniel enjoyed his new favorite pastime in the hotel...walking up and down the hallway.




Once he got his morning walk completed, Rajeev took us for some shopping. He took us to a great one-stop shopping emporium and I probably could have spent all day there! I was able to pick up some traditional clothing for my nieces and nephew along with some gifts for family. I walked out with a small dent on the credit card, but it could have been a lot worse if I gave in to some of the beautiful furniture. Once shopping was complete, we headed back to the hotel while our fellow traveling family went to the embassy to check on their visa (which they were successfully granted!).

Our afternoon was spent with Nathaniel taking a long nap since our flight was at 1:45am the next morning. We ended the evening with a wonderful dinner from Rajeev at his hotel and then were taken to the airport. While we were desperate to come home, we were also very sad to say goodbye to Rajeev. Many families that traveled before told us how amazing this man was, but we could not truly understand until we had the privilege of meeting him. These adoptions and the children are his life. But he would have it no other way. Nathaniel will always be told of Rajeev and how he helped us become a family. Another side mention should be said about Rajeev's driver. We could not communicate with him, but he transported us everywhere! He tried to decline our gift of appreciation when we parted ways, but we would have it no other way.

After saying our goodbyes, we walked into Delhi airport on our own. Air India had already lost one of our bags on our way here, now they were telling me they had ignored our confirmed seats and separated us. Those of you that really know me, know that type of information does not fly with me. After a few angry words of how unacceptable this was, I was spoken to by the supervisor and security was called. In the end, the three of us were together in our first class seats. While the customer service off the plane is pitiful, the in-flight service on Air India was top notch (I can only speak for first class, I hear it cannot be said for economy). We just wanted a relaxing flight for our new little guy....for all 16 hours of flight!

He slept for the first third of the flight which made the rest of the flight challenging because he constantly needs to move. We brought coloring books, cars, books, another stuffed animal and a good mix of dry food items, movies in the iPad, but nothing held his interest for long. Yet, we made it (without any fellow passenger complaining) and landed in Chicago. We made our way to customs to hand over the sealed package and be cleared to enter the states with Nathaniel. It was the first (and hopefully the last) time we were pulled to the immigration office. A very nice official reviewed our documents and stamped our clearance. I still don't know what was in that package. We made our way to a different terminal and boarded our flight. Nathaniel was crying and we were greeted with an angry man and his snide comments just as we sat down. I held my tongue this time and was ready to argue how Nathaniel had his own paid seat, but didn't need to since he was such a good boy and stopped crying right before take off and slept for the flight. Does he look comfortable or what?


Check out daddy and Nathaniel looking at the mountains of Lake Tahoe...


While we learned United lost both pieces of luggage we checked in (what is with this trip?!), we were greeted by Nathaniel's Nani (grandma), aunt and cousin all eager to meet him. I think it was love at first sight! We are so glad to be home!

It's Time!

Throughout our adoption process, we can without a doubt say that the best email came in on Friday, 6/3! Nathaniel's passport was done which means we could book travel! After waiting for the actual dates from our agency, we have booked our flights for early July.

Who knew booking travel would be so time consuming?! Part of the problem is that after years (and I mean years) of saving our Delta Skymiles for this trip, Delta said our miles could not be used during this window. Boo, Delta!! After getting over that, we asked about their international adoption fare. Unfortunately, the fare was not applicable. Huh? Big boos! So, we started researching individual airlines and websites like Expedia and Travelocity. Kind of tricky when you're trying to plan two round trip tickets and an additional ticket back.
After following the great information shared on a fellow adopting family's blog, we tried the travel agent they suggested and another. Very helpful! We went through Azumano, but Giselle's was also great to work with.

Azumano:
http://www.azumano.com/
We had Rena help us

Giselle's
https://www.globaltrav.com/
Ask for Michelle

Many families would disagree with us on this, but we decided to travel first class. I don't want to limit the space Nathaniel will need on such a long flight. The price will take me years to recover, but I think it will be worth it in the long run.

It's been a long wait, but we finally made it to the last step!

1) Get an approved home study done by an accredited home study agency.

2) File the I-800A with USCIS (United States Citizenship & Immigration Services): You will need to include certified copies of your birth, marriage (if applicable) and divorce (if applicable) certificates, an original copy of your home study, a copy of the home study agency's license, the filing fee of $670 and fingerprint fee of $80 per person (anyone living in the home over the age of 18 years must be fingerprinted).


3) USCIS will contact the family with a date and time to come for their fingerprints: After you get your fingerprints taken, USCIS will process your I-800A petition.

4) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800A, Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country": This letter will state "Notice Type: APPROVAL NOTICE", your name, address, fingerprint expiration date and "Approval Valid Until" date.

Your I-800A approval and fingerprints are good for 15 months from the "Notice Date" listed on the I-797C.

5) Official acceptance of a referral/child

6) Family files the I-800 with USCIS

7) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800, Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative": This letter will state "Notice Type: NOTICE OF PROVISIONAL APPROVAL".

8) USCIS will notify the U.S. Embassy in India of the family's provisional I-800 approval

9) The U.S. Embassy will contact the family requesting the DS-230 form to be submitted: The DS-230 is the visa application for your child. The Embassy will send you the forms to fill out and information on the photo requirement for this step.

10) The U.S. Embassy will process the case and issue an Article 5 letter: The Embassy will notify you and CARA as soon as the Article 5 letter is issued.

11) CARA processes the case and grants NOC (No Objection Certificate): NOC states that CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) has "No Objection" to the placement of the child with the adoptive parents.

12) The case is filed with the local court: Cases will be filed with the court within 15 days of NOC.

13) Court grants guardianship

14) Agency receives a copy of the court documents

15) Agency files for ICPC approval on behalf of the family: ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and is necessary for all Indian adoptions due to the granting of "guardianship" instead of "adoption". This approval gives the family permission to bring the child across state lines for the purpose of adopting.

16) Texas ICPC office notifies Agency's Texas office of family's ICPC approval

17) Agency will notify the family of ICPC approval

18) Agency will contact our staff in India regarding possible travel dates for the family: Travel dates must be confirmed with our India staff before the family makes any definite plans.

19) Family travels to India to bring their child home! (WE ARE HERE)

Court Docs and ICPC

We received word last week that our agency had the translated court documents from India. This means we have "written guardianship" which means that India has put it in writing....we are Nathaniel's guardians. I'm a "put it in writing" girl, so I like the extra step to make it official. The better news is that now our agency can begin the ICPC process. ICPC stands for: Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children

Per the CA state government's website:

The purpose of the ICPC is to protect the child and the party states in the interstate placement of children so that:

• The child is placed in a suitable environment;
• The receiving state has the opportunity to assess that the proposed placement is not contrary to the interests of the child and that its applicable laws and policies have been followed before it approves the placement;
• The sending state obtains enough information to evaluate the proposed placement;
• The care of the child is promoted through appropriate jurisdictional arrangements; and
• The sending agency or individual guarantees the child legal and financial protection.

Basically, this is Texas and CA chatting with each other with Texas saying, "Hey Cali, we've been the state working on an adoption. Is it okay if he comes your way?" My adoption agency says CA ICPCs move fairly fast....news I loved hearing! We are just hoping we do not come across any glitches (although, glitches do seem to love me soooooo much).

While ICPC is happening, the Indian facility (orphanage) is applying for Nathaniel's passport. So, we have to wait for both pieces, ICPC and passports, to be approved before we have the official word to travel.

Once that word is given, our agency coordinates with the agency representative in India to coordinate dates. The planner that I am, I emailed my agency today and asked if there was a way we can get his calendar now so we know his dates. I'm sure they chuckled a bit because they said great idea, but that won't happen now. They did tell him we will want to fly at his earliest availability.

So, yes, we are preparing to leave as soon as possible. We will spend our next few weeks getting everything ready so we can leave as soon as we can...even if it means within a couple of days. There is always a possibility of this taking many, many weeks (the glitches that love me so), but we are praying for a speedy journey.

Prayers for Invisible Friends

One of the amazing things in this process is the incredible connections we have made with other families adopting from India. From the start of this process, there is no way we could have handled the emotional roller coaster without being able to log on to our Yahoo group and ask questions or just talk about how we are feeling. We connected with families that were years past completing the process, those about to meet their little one or some just starting. I read their blogs and their timeline seemed so distant to me. But, now here we are waiting for word to travel. I continue to go back to those blogs as if they were a textbook for adopting from India. I'm fortunate to have formed relationships with a few moms that are around the same time line. Though we have never met, I feel very close with my invisible friends as we deal with the daily emotions waiting to bring our sons/daughters home. For those of you out there that read these posts and say a little prayer for Mark and I so we bring Nathaniel home soon, I ask that you also say a little prayer for the other families that are also waiting.

Lists....

It's been five weeks since we received verbal guardianship and are still waiting for the word to plan our travel. It feels like there is so much to do, but I can't seem to get started because I truly don't know where to start. I've been making lists. Lots of lists. Lists of lists to make.

The work list is pretty massive. The school year doesn't end until June 17th and then my work year ends on June 30th. Not know when I will be heading out is causing much anxiety on my end. I have started to create the list for all the things I need (or should) wrap up for the interim principal coming in. Maybe I should figure out who that will be first? No time, must go forward with lists! So far, it's a page long (two columns). The goal was to finish it all by spring break...did I mention that is in two weeks??? Oh, and that I haven't started anything on the list yet? It seems the daily problems at the school site are escalating and not giving me a moment to plan ahead, but it must get done some time.

Next is the list for home readiness. I've decided that now is the perfect time to try to begin and complete major home projects so it's all done when we travel. If Dr. Phil were to ask how this is working for me, the answer wouldn't be pretty. But, we do have so much organizing to do plus getting the house kid safe.

Then we get to the lists of things to have on hand. Haven't really started. Well...I did buy a car seat. That's about it. One of the blessings of being the principal of a school site where we had at least 2-3 pregnancies each year, there are lots of moms with lots of recommendations. Two of my teachers told me this was the car seat to buy, so I did. Free shipping and a sale also helped. Is all this baby stuff so expensive? I was on track to buying a convertible crib until a teacher told me I should be looking at a toddler bed. I guess I'm starting over. Then the list began....potty training seat, high chair or booster, diaper genie (do they still call them that?), stroller, etc... Another teacher recommended this book, but I'm finding it not as helpful since Nathaniel is now a toddler. Please share any recommendations you might have!

Photos

We received new photos the day we also heard we had verbal guardianship. As I showed them to a friend the other day and we looked at the first pictures we received, it was amazing to see how much Nathaniel has grown. He's becoming such a big boy and we don't want to miss any more of his life....

The Long Wait

We received an email some weeks ago from the president of our adoption agency talking about the importance of patience in an adoption. I found his words to truly resonate since I am a self-proclaimed anti-patient person. Right now is too slow, I needed it five minutes ago. So, this adoption process has really tested me. Now Mark on the other hand, the pace is understandable to him. A true case of the tortoise and the hare.

Well, as I get the daily "bings" of new emails coming in from our Yahoo adoption group, it is a joy to see so many families advancing. They post their time line and I'm amazed how fast some have zipped by, while others have put in what seems to be a life sentence. This past February marked two years since we began this process. Here is our time line:

Submit IFS Application – February 2009
Homestudy – November 2009
I-800A approval – January 2010
Received referral -- February 2010
Accepted referral -- March 2010
I-800 approved – April 2010
Article 5 – July 2010
NOC – December 2010
Verbal guardianship -- February 28, 2011
Written guardianship -- ??
Medical exam -- ??
Visa -- ??
Travel -- ??

And we continue to wait....So, the moral of the story is that if you are considering international adoption, you must be willing to ride it out.

Time flies!

Perhaps the delays in posts were because I was overwhelmingly busy....or, it could be because the wait of an international adoption is painful to be reminded of. I'll go with a little of both.

The last time we wrote, we had just accepted a referral for baby Bhargav and started to work with Immigration. That actually went fairly quick, but the wait was for NOC (No Objection Clearance). This is a major step in an Indian adoption. NOC is approved by CARA (India's government adoption agency). They review every piece of paperwork and will grant a "no objection" to the family pursuing the adoption. Once they give the approval, you advance to the Indian courts. This step can be excruciatingly painful for man families because it goes fast for some and not so fast for others. In fact, we experienced families that started their paperwork after us were receiving NOC. About the time we were waiting, India made a big change in the rules.

Basically, until a family is granted NOC, an Indian family can come to an orphanage and adopt the child you were referred. This is why NOC is a big deal! India has no implemented a rule where three Indian families must deny the child before NOC can be granted. There is no telling how long of a wait this can cause. We were truly, truly blessed to literally have just missed this new rule.

While you wait for NOC, and hear about other families passing by with approval, you are not allowed to call India to see what is holding up the process. Well....you could, but it is highly frowned upon by our agency. All the while, family and friends are asking and all you can say is that you have no news.

Our notice came in November. I woke up and engaged in a very bad habit, which is to check my email before I get out of bed. On this morning, I was glad I did because we received a wonderful message stating we had passed NOC. The next step was court to grant verbal guardianship. A new waiting game.

I checked the Indian court website and kept seeing new court dates. But, we don't ever know why or what. So, we wait and wait and wait. The new year comes...and we wait. That is, until last Monday!

I received an email last Monday evening stating we passed court!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I would put more exclamation marks here, but I think you get the point). The email closed with: "I will be sending you some emails with travel preparation information. You can look it over and start preparing for your trip to India to bring your gorgeous son home. :)"

Those are the best words in the world!!

So, now the checklists have started and the overwhelming feeling of preparation begins. Can't wait to share our progress along the way.

Our process:

1) Get an approved home study done by an accredited home study agency.

2) File the I-800A with USCIS (United States Citizenship & Immigration Services): You will need to include certified copies of your birth, marriage (if applicable) and divorce (if applicable) certificates, an original copy of your home study, a copy of the home study agency's license, the filing fee of $670 and fingerprint fee of $80 per person (anyone living in the home over the age of 18 years must be fingerprinted).


3) USCIS will contact the family with a date and time to come for their fingerprints: After you get your fingerprints taken, USCIS will process your I-800A petition.

4) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800A, Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country": This letter will state "Notice Type: APPROVAL NOTICE", your name, address, fingerprint expiration date and "Approval Valid Until" date.

Your I-800A approval and fingerprints are good for 15 months from the "Notice Date" listed on the I-797C.

5) Official acceptance of a referral/child

6) Family files the I-800 with USCIS

7) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800, Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative": This letter will state "Notice Type: NOTICE OF PROVISIONAL APPROVAL".

8) USCIS will notify the U.S. Embassy in India of the family's provisional I-800 approval

9) The U.S. Embassy will contact the family requesting the DS-230 form to be submitted: The DS-230 is the visa application for your child. The Embassy will send you the forms to fill out and information on the photo requirement for this step.

10) The U.S. Embassy will process the case and issue an Article 5 letter: The Embassy will notify you and CARA as soon as the Article 5 letter is issued.

11) CARA processes the case and grants NOC (No Objection Certificate): NOC states that CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) has "No Objection" to the placement of the child with the adoptive parents.

12) The case is filed with the local court: Cases will be filed with the court within 15 days of NOC.

13) Court grants guardianship

14) Agency receives a copy of the court documents (WE ARE HERE)

15) Agency files for ICPC approval on behalf of the family: ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and is necessary for all Indian adoptions due to the granting of "guardianship" instead of "adoption". This approval gives the family permission to bring the child across state lines for the purpose of adopting.

16) Texas ICPC office notifies Agency's Texas office of family's ICPC approval

17) Agency will notify the family of ICPC approval

18) Agency will contact our staff in India regarding possible travel dates for the family: Travel dates must be confirmed with our India staff before the family makes any definite plans.

19) Family travels to India to bring their child home!

More photos

Here are some of the first photos we received....

Has it really been almost 4 months?!

Yes, it has! And, boy, has it been busy! Lots of frustrations with work, completing my dissertation, preparing for my defense and other life issues.

Well, today presents more drama with work and still having life issues.....but, my defense and dissertation is done. It's thrilling to be done and officially announce I can add "Dr." to my name.

But, most exciting of all is that February 16th changed our lives. We received a referral for a little guy named Bhargav. We instantly connected with him, but there were some questions we needed to ask our doctor. We continued to communicate with the adoption agency and our doctor for about a month. On Monday, March 15th we decided to accept the referral for Bhargav! Since then, we've been filling out immigration paperwork and finalizing our dossier.

Immigration is busy processing our paperwork and our dossier arrived in Agra, India last week. At this point, our adoption agency contact in India reviews our dossier. If it's in good shape, he takes it to the government folks.

Here's an update of where we are (see red)....

1) Get an approved home study done by an accredited home study agency.

2) File the I-800A with USCIS (United States Citizenship & Immigration Services): You will need to include certified copies of your birth, marriage (if applicable) and divorce (if applicable) certificates, an original copy of your home study, a copy of the home study agency's license, the filing fee of $670 and fingerprint fee of $80 per person (anyone living in the home over the age of 18 years must be fingerprinted).


3) USCIS will contact the family with a date and time to come for their fingerprints: After you get your fingerprints taken, USCIS will process your I-800A petition.

4) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800A, Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country": This letter will state "Notice Type: APPROVAL NOTICE", your name, address, fingerprint expiration date and "Approval Valid Until" date.

Your I-800A approval and fingerprints are good for 15 months from the "Notice Date" listed on the I-797C.

5) Official acceptance of a referral/child

6) Family files the I-800 with USCIS (WE ARE HERE)

7) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800, Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative": This letter will state "Notice Type: NOTICE OF PROVISIONAL APPROVAL".

8) USCIS will notify the U.S. Embassy in India of the family's provisional I-800 approval

9) The U.S. Embassy will contact the family requesting the DS-230 form to be submitted: The DS-230 is the visa application for your child. The Embassy will send you the forms to fill out and information on the photo requirement for this step.

10) The U.S. Embassy will process the case and issue an Article 5 letter: The Embassy will notify you and CARA as soon as the Article 5 letter is issued.

11) CARA processes the case and grants NOC (No Objection Certificate): NOC states that CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) has "No Objection" to the placement of the child with the adoptive parents.

12) The case is filed with the local court: Cases will be filed with the court within 15 days of NOC.

13) Court grants guardianship

14) Agency receives a copy of the court documents

15) Agency files for ICPC approval on behalf of the family: ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and is necessary for all Indian adoptions due to the granting of "guardianship" instead of "adoption". This approval gives the family permission to bring the child across state lines for the purpose of adopting.

16) Texas ICPC office notifies Agency's Texas office of family's ICPC approval

17) Agency will notify the family of ICPC approval

18) Agency will contact our staff in India regarding possible travel dates for the family: Travel dates must be confirmed with our India staff before the family makes any definite plans.

19) Family travels to India to bring their child home!

*CARA must have received your completed dossier and the Article 5 letter before NOC can be granted.

Practicing Patience...

It's been over a month since our last child referral. Patience has never been a virtue of mine...and it is sure being tested right about now. I check my e-mail all the time. I think I have become obsessed with it. We keep telling ourselves that our baby will come to us when the time is right. But, the wait is pure agony!

Moving along...

We were very fortunate and received our documents apostilled from the Secretary of State in a very short turn around time. For those that don't know, apostille is a process where the Sec. of State verifies that your notary is a notary. Each notarized doc gets an official certificate. The cost is ridiculous. Each document is $20 to be apostilled. If you walk it in, it's an additional $6 per document. We chose to mail it in which cost a bit over $700. Even with the holiday, we received everything back within a week. So, now we are sending everything off to our adoption agency to make sure we have everything we need to send to the Indian courts once we get the word to do so. I will be more than impressed with our Shana/Mark team is we haven't missed any documents.

Unfortunately, we are still waiting for a child referral. We're chalking this one month waiting to the holidays. The waiting is truly agony!

So, where are we in this long process. Below are the required steps from beginning to end...

1) Get an approved home study done by an accredited home study agency.

2) File the I-800A with USCIS (United States Citizenship & Immigration Services): You will need to include certified copies of your birth, marriage (if applicable) and divorce (if applicable) certificates, an original copy of your home study, a copy of the home study agency's license, the filing fee of $670 and fingerprint fee of $80 per person (anyone living in the home over the age of 18 years must be fingerprinted).


3) USCIS will contact the family with a date and time to come for their fingerprints: After you get your fingerprints taken, USCIS will process your I-800A petition. (WE ARE HERE)

4) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800A, Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country": This letter will state "Notice Type: APPROVAL NOTICE", your name, address, fingerprint expiration date and "Approval Valid Until" date.

Your I-800A approval and fingerprints are good for 15 months from the "Notice Date" listed on the I-797C.

5) Official acceptance of a referral/child

6) Family files the I-800 with USCIS

7) USCIS will send the family an I-797C, Notice of Action "Case Type: I-800, Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative": This letter will state "Notice Type: NOTICE OF PROVISIONAL APPROVAL".

8) USCIS will notify the U.S. Embassy in India of the family's provisional I-800 approval

9) The U.S. Embassy will contact the family requesting the DS-230 form to be submitted: The DS-230 is the visa application for your child. The Embassy will send you the forms to fill out and information on the photo requirement for this step.

10) The U.S. Embassy will process the case and issue an Article 5 letter: The Embassy will notify you and CARA as soon as the Article 5 letter is issued.

11) CARA processes the case and grants NOC (No Objection Certificate): NOC states that CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) has "No Objection" to the placement of the child with the adoptive parents.

12) The case is filed with the local court: Cases will be filed with the court within 15 days of NOC.

13) Court grants guardianship

14) Agency receives a copy of the court documents

15) Agency files for ICPC approval on behalf of the family: ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and is necessary for all Indian adoptions due to the granting of "guardianship" instead of "adoption". This approval gives the family permission to bring the child across state lines for the purpose of adopting.

16) Texas ICPC office notifies Agency's Texas office of family's ICPC approval

17) Agency will notify the family of ICPC approval

18) Agency will contact our staff in India regarding possible travel dates for the family: Travel dates must be confirmed with our India staff before the family makes any definite plans.

19) Family travels to India to bring their child home!

*CARA must have received your completed dossier and the Article 5 letter before NOC can be granted.

Notarized!

My how time flies! It's December and we've advanced a bit in our process since my last post. We completed our home study in early November and sent it off to our adoption agency.

This major step triggered two big next steps. First, it meant we could send our 1-800A (Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country) documents off to Immigration. Second, it also meant we can now start receiving child referrals.

1-800A: Fortunately, they processed the application quite fast and we already have received a letter with a set appointment to come in and get our "biometrics" captured. I'm thinking fingerprints? But, wouldn't they have just said that? You can tell I'm a bit nervous about what there will be beyond fingerprints. Anyhow, my appt. time conflicts with an important work date so I have to mail the docs back in to see if I can reschedule. If you ever go through this process, try to not to reschedule. It's not at easy as calling the dentists office.

Child Referral: This is such an exciting phase, but I have also discovered it is the most difficult we've encountered so far. Now that the home study is done, our adoption agency can send us children matching our criteria. We received our first one instantly. He was a little boy who just turned one. Unfortunately, his medical background caused us to decline. It's been about a month and my heart still breaks from this decision. We were spoiled with that first referral because we assumed more would come in just as fast, but we are still waiting.

During our waiting period, we are finalizing all the Indian dossier docs that will go to the Indian courts once we accept a child and our approved with immigration. Just to give you an understanding, we have been working on all these documents since this past May. I can't believe it, but we have gathered everything (or so I hope). Part of the requirement is that each document be notarized. In terms of costs, each signature runs around $10. Once all is said and done, it would cost between $250-300 to notarize the dossier docs. If you are thinking about adopting, make friends with a notary! Lucky for us, my friend Jed connected me with his friend Niki who is a notary and she only charged us a very small travel fee. Tonight we finalized our last couple of docs. [If you ever need a notary, please ask me about Niki...she is awesome and will come to you!!!] So, tomorrow we will take all these notarized forms to be apostilled with the Secretary of State. This is the process where we certify the notary is a notary. We are hoping the holidays won't hold up the turnaround time.

Exhausted

I guess I shouldn't complain too much since I did get a week away. But, boy did real life hit me hard when I returned! My life is consumed by three major things right now...getting a school up and running despite every challenge possible, trying to work through the ever elusive doctoral process so I can be done, and just that other small thing of trying to start a family by pushing through all the thick red tape of the international adoption process.

We had our official home visit yesterday from our social worker. It was much easier than I imagined. Of course there were lots of questions and then a tour of the home. We had to identify the potential kiddo's room. Our social worker asked how we were feeling about the process so far. So, we did express our frustration with how long everything takes. She confirmed our feelings by letting us know when we send our completed home study (in about a month) to immigration, it will take a minimum of 2-3 months. While we wait for the home study to be typed and checked by the agencies fact checkers (yes, they do check the document against all our paperwork to make sure we haven't told any fibs anywhere), we will complete our at home courses and finish gathering the dossier documents (along with notarizing and sending it off to the Secretary of State's office for the apostille process).

As for my doctoral studies, I am very close to proposing my chapters 1-3. This is a big step since approval means I can conduct my study and get closer to the defense. I met with my chair this morning and received all my "to-do's"....it was a long list! But, I should be proposing in a few weeks. So, I am preparing for high stress now.

Finally, opening the school year has been difficult. I'm still finding it difficult to accept all my fantastic teachers that were laid off. The teacher contract stipulates random permanent teachers get to pick my school. I'm still not fully staffed and support is lacking. I wish lawmakers and all those making judgments on public education would truly understand what it takes to run a school. Getting off my soapbox....

Social Worker Assigned!!

We are so excited because we have been assigned a social worker!!!! Mark and I will have individual appointments in a couple of weeks and then the home study. If all goes well, we will be able to send of documents to India.

Fingerprints

The only thing we are waiting for is my fingerprint clearance from Dept. of Justice. Odd that it is taking so long since I am in the system as an educator. We were told it could take up to two months...time we just don't want to waste. Our home study agency has allowed us permission to move forward while we wait for the clearance. This way we have a social worker assigned to us and can begin the home study process. If my prints do not clear, we may have gone through the home study for nothing. I would have definitely fingerprinted much earlier on if I knew about the delay. We submit our form tomorrow to give the approval to move forward. I am hoping we will soon be announcing we have a social worker!

Bringing ???? Home

Our buddy family shared the title of this book so of course I purchased it (thank you one-click Amazon)!
The plot warmed my heart and am hoping we will soon be saying we are bringing our little one home.

Bringing Asha Home

Buddy Family & 4th of July Aftermath

Today we met our assigned buddy family. Kathy and Graham Master adopted a little girl from India 8 years ago. A prerequisite to the home study process is to meet with our assigned buddy family and ask them any questions we have.
Our visit included information of what to prepare, adjustment periods and support groups. We both felt the visit made everything a bit more real for us. Kathy has lots of cultural groups she belongs to and I was impressed since I am Indian and had no idea! We are looking forward to keeping in touch with them and asking questions along the way.
Now that we've made our buddy family visit, we are officially done with the prerequisite items. We wait for my fingerprints to clear and then our social worker is assigned! We are anxious and wish there was a way to speed up those fingerprints. But, if there is anything we've learned from the process, other people do not work on our time.

So, since we were so excited to have met our buddy family, it was very disappointing when we came home only to have our neighbor tell us at 6:45 pm that the fence between our two homes had caught on fire at 1 this morning. The tree above it is completely burned. Thank goodness it did not catch the roof which was just seconds away. They decided to put it out themselves and tell us 17 hours later. Did I mention that Mark and I were sleeping down the way of the fire. They did not call the fire department or come knock on our door. Instead, they fought hard to put the fire out and had their area completely cleaned when we went to take pictures. Hmmmm, detective Shana is already on it!