Notarized!

My how time flies! It's December and we've advanced a bit in our process since my last post. We completed our home study in early November and sent it off to our adoption agency.

This major step triggered two big next steps. First, it meant we could send our 1-800A (Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country) documents off to Immigration. Second, it also meant we can now start receiving child referrals.

1-800A: Fortunately, they processed the application quite fast and we already have received a letter with a set appointment to come in and get our "biometrics" captured. I'm thinking fingerprints? But, wouldn't they have just said that? You can tell I'm a bit nervous about what there will be beyond fingerprints. Anyhow, my appt. time conflicts with an important work date so I have to mail the docs back in to see if I can reschedule. If you ever go through this process, try to not to reschedule. It's not at easy as calling the dentists office.

Child Referral: This is such an exciting phase, but I have also discovered it is the most difficult we've encountered so far. Now that the home study is done, our adoption agency can send us children matching our criteria. We received our first one instantly. He was a little boy who just turned one. Unfortunately, his medical background caused us to decline. It's been about a month and my heart still breaks from this decision. We were spoiled with that first referral because we assumed more would come in just as fast, but we are still waiting.

During our waiting period, we are finalizing all the Indian dossier docs that will go to the Indian courts once we accept a child and our approved with immigration. Just to give you an understanding, we have been working on all these documents since this past May. I can't believe it, but we have gathered everything (or so I hope). Part of the requirement is that each document be notarized. In terms of costs, each signature runs around $10. Once all is said and done, it would cost between $250-300 to notarize the dossier docs. If you are thinking about adopting, make friends with a notary! Lucky for us, my friend Jed connected me with his friend Niki who is a notary and she only charged us a very small travel fee. Tonight we finalized our last couple of docs. [If you ever need a notary, please ask me about Niki...she is awesome and will come to you!!!] So, tomorrow we will take all these notarized forms to be apostilled with the Secretary of State. This is the process where we certify the notary is a notary. We are hoping the holidays won't hold up the turnaround time.

Exhausted

I guess I shouldn't complain too much since I did get a week away. But, boy did real life hit me hard when I returned! My life is consumed by three major things right now...getting a school up and running despite every challenge possible, trying to work through the ever elusive doctoral process so I can be done, and just that other small thing of trying to start a family by pushing through all the thick red tape of the international adoption process.

We had our official home visit yesterday from our social worker. It was much easier than I imagined. Of course there were lots of questions and then a tour of the home. We had to identify the potential kiddo's room. Our social worker asked how we were feeling about the process so far. So, we did express our frustration with how long everything takes. She confirmed our feelings by letting us know when we send our completed home study (in about a month) to immigration, it will take a minimum of 2-3 months. While we wait for the home study to be typed and checked by the agencies fact checkers (yes, they do check the document against all our paperwork to make sure we haven't told any fibs anywhere), we will complete our at home courses and finish gathering the dossier documents (along with notarizing and sending it off to the Secretary of State's office for the apostille process).

As for my doctoral studies, I am very close to proposing my chapters 1-3. This is a big step since approval means I can conduct my study and get closer to the defense. I met with my chair this morning and received all my "to-do's"....it was a long list! But, I should be proposing in a few weeks. So, I am preparing for high stress now.

Finally, opening the school year has been difficult. I'm still finding it difficult to accept all my fantastic teachers that were laid off. The teacher contract stipulates random permanent teachers get to pick my school. I'm still not fully staffed and support is lacking. I wish lawmakers and all those making judgments on public education would truly understand what it takes to run a school. Getting off my soapbox....

Alaska

Our vacation to Seattle and a cruise to Alaska was just what we needed! We had a great time! Unfortunately, I spent the first few days sick...but took lots of medicine and was better by the 2nd day of the cruise.


An anniversary cake greeted us in our cabin


Killer whales we saw in Juneau, AK

A group of whales on a feeding frenzy for herring


Glacier Bay, AK


A special anniversary dinner at the French bistro on the cruise

Social Worker Assigned!!

We are so excited because we have been assigned a social worker!!!! Mark and I will have individual appointments in a couple of weeks and then the home study. If all goes well, we will be able to send of documents to India.

Smiles and Tears

Two videos brought opposite emotions this week. If you didn't catch either, take a few moments...

This video brought a smile and laughter to my day, what a way to start a morning!





Dancing is so beautiful and this one brought tears to my eyes. My family has been touched by breast cancer and this was just amazing....

Fingerprints

The only thing we are waiting for is my fingerprint clearance from Dept. of Justice. Odd that it is taking so long since I am in the system as an educator. We were told it could take up to two months...time we just don't want to waste. Our home study agency has allowed us permission to move forward while we wait for the clearance. This way we have a social worker assigned to us and can begin the home study process. If my prints do not clear, we may have gone through the home study for nothing. I would have definitely fingerprinted much earlier on if I knew about the delay. We submit our form tomorrow to give the approval to move forward. I am hoping we will soon be announcing we have a social worker!

Bringing ???? Home

Our buddy family shared the title of this book so of course I purchased it (thank you one-click Amazon)!
The plot warmed my heart and am hoping we will soon be saying we are bringing our little one home.

Bringing Asha Home

Buddy Family & 4th of July Aftermath

Today we met our assigned buddy family. Kathy and Graham Master adopted a little girl from India 8 years ago. A prerequisite to the home study process is to meet with our assigned buddy family and ask them any questions we have.
Our visit included information of what to prepare, adjustment periods and support groups. We both felt the visit made everything a bit more real for us. Kathy has lots of cultural groups she belongs to and I was impressed since I am Indian and had no idea! We are looking forward to keeping in touch with them and asking questions along the way.
Now that we've made our buddy family visit, we are officially done with the prerequisite items. We wait for my fingerprints to clear and then our social worker is assigned! We are anxious and wish there was a way to speed up those fingerprints. But, if there is anything we've learned from the process, other people do not work on our time.

So, since we were so excited to have met our buddy family, it was very disappointing when we came home only to have our neighbor tell us at 6:45 pm that the fence between our two homes had caught on fire at 1 this morning. The tree above it is completely burned. Thank goodness it did not catch the roof which was just seconds away. They decided to put it out themselves and tell us 17 hours later. Did I mention that Mark and I were sleeping down the way of the fire. They did not call the fire department or come knock on our door. Instead, they fought hard to put the fire out and had their area completely cleaned when we went to take pictures. Hmmmm, detective Shana is already on it!

A Visual Reference

This is our adoption process (minus all the wonderful particulars)! Want to guess where we are? Think far left...blue section. The flow chart will help any of you wondering where we've been and where we need to go.

Almost to home study

We are so close....2 items away! Once those come in, we will have our social worker assigned and then do the home study. Once the home study is conducted and passed, we can notify our main adoption agency and then send in the dossier. Then it's in the hands of the Indian courts. Sounds easy and fast, but the work to get to each stage is the tough part.

We have to say big thanks to our friends and families that took the time to write letters or fill our referral forms on our behalf. Thank you Carolyn, Dennis, Sean, Faye, Judy, and Jeremy! Your support and time is very much appreciated!

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday marked 5 years for us! Love you B!

20 Questions

I feel overwhelmed by the last few weeks. Time is flying by and I don't feel like I am making any progress!

We are so close to finishing all the steps and paperwork to do the actual homestudy and have our social worker assigned! This has taken way longer than I anticipated. Things like having to redo my fingerprints 3 times is a bit frustrating! Mark has made about 6 trips to the doctor's office to have them redo forms because they are rushing through. It is so difficult relying on others. One thing we have been so grateful for are the friends an family that have taken the time to write letters and fill out reference forms on our behalf. We've been working through out last two big forms, here are a few of the questions...

How would you handle a child who couldn't trust you?
What would you do if this child became disruptive influence on your marriage?
What would you do if your child wanted to see their biological parents?
How do you feel about adopting a child who has been sexually molested?
Will your friends and family accept a child from a different culture?
What do you and your spouse disagree about?
Describe communication with your spouse?
Etc....

All the questions are clearly to know the environment where the child will be going. But, it is difficult to expose your whole life to strangers.

We are looking for support groups of other couples that went or are going through the adoption process. If you know of any, please let us know!

More crafty goodness

I made this scrapbook for my personal trainer (yes, I have one although I know you can't tell). He had a baby girl a month ago. Each page is a holiday in the next coming year and a space for a photo.

I'm back!

Wow, time flies! But, I am back and ready to blog. It has been a very busy few weeks. I finished the semester at UOP and we began our state standardized testing at the school. Also, one of our kindergartners passed away in a drowning accident. He had been at school on a Thursday, went home and drowned in his pool. The next day we had to tell his fellow classmates and our staff. The following week was just as tough with funeral services and continuing to work with the students in his classroom.
On top of this, we've been dealing with the financial struggles of our district and multiple layoffs. I received a pink slip and had it rescinded just this last Thursday. It was many weeks of waiting.
Very emotional last few weeks. Glad to finally have a bit more order.
I have started my first summer session of classes. Statistics for 4.5 hours two nights a week...it's about as intense as you can imagine.
Not much with the adoption...still working on paperwork. Reference forms went out to our list of people we hope will say nothing but nice things about us! :)
Will blog again soon this week...

Tell It Like It Is Shaila!

Yesterday Mark and I spend a 10 hour day in one of our required adoption classes. This one focused on international adoptions. Shaila is the international adoption guru with our home study agency. She took us through a day of things to think about that Mark and I had not honestly even thought about. She held nothing back and definitely told it like it is! By 10 our brains were exhausted, by 1 we were overwhelmed and by 5 we were wondering what we have gotten ourselves into. It didn't change our mind, if anything we felt like a unified team even more ready to commit.

I considered Shaila a sign, more of an angel actually. Shaila is an Indian woman that has two Indian children she adopted over 17 years ago (domestiaclly, which I still can't believe!). She not only knows the legalities of just about every country, but she can relate to how it feels to be an Indian woman going through the adoption process. See...an angel to help me through this.

Shaila spent some time talking about the reactions of adoption from different perspectives. I very much connected with what she was saying. Since telling folks we are adopting, it's not always the same reaction you get as if you say, "I'm pregnant!" You don't get asked about your emotions, physical state, planning for baby, etc.... as you do when you are physically pregnant. It makes you worried about how your child will be treated/viewed when they arrive home. This is such a difficult journey that is very misunderstood. So, yes, we are pregnant! It just may take longer than 9 months to deliver our baby. :)

Hague Accredited

Another snag in this wonderful process called International Adoption. So, we are contracted with one agency for our adoption. They do their international adoptions under another agency name (that is Hague Accredited). In order to get the home study completed, we had to find an agency close to home. Well, we had our intake interview on Thursday and found out that the adoption agency is about the expire with their accredited status. Not a big deal, they can just renew...but the homestudy agency won't know this until the renewal actually happens. Seems like a small snag, of course a much bigger one if there is no renewal....but it's all about positive thoughts right now. The bigger concern is the agency they do the international adoptions with is not accredited to do India adoptions...WHAT?!!! Something must be wrong, right? I emailed the agency on Thursday and have yet to hear back. Yep, a bit worried here. Lots of time and money already invested...not to mention all the emotions invested.

I am hoping to hear good news this week. It's been difficult to want to get more paperwork done until we have an answer. Could use all the prayers out there to get us through this one....

The best thing about Sunday evenings....

The Amazing Race! Mark continues to believe we will be racing one day. Until then, we watch in comfort on our sofas and root on our teams. This season, I absolutely love Tammy and Victor!

Adoption Class #1

Part of the home study process is attending adoption classes. Mark and I attended the first one on Thursday night. It was hosted by a couple that adopted four children from the same home study agency we are working with. There were three other couples attending class. We were the only couple doing an international adoption.

During the class, we heard from the hosting couple tell their story. Then, the husbands and wives were separated so they could ask us about the joys and strengths of adopting different types of children. Then we had to take a questionnaire about our personal histories. I'm assuming they will compare it with our spouses to ensure we are "on the same page."

Our next class will be specifically for international adoptions. Until then, we will be required to do an intake interview at the home study agency's office which we plan to do this week. And guess what the best part of the adoption class was.....more paperwork :)

Tough Week!

I guess I have a hard time dealing with bad things when it could have been prevented. My wallet was stolen from my office on Wednesday. Long story made short....someone went right into my office (with two clerical staff people that are supposed to be right outside) and into my purse and took out my very big wallet. Walked right back out. Saw a surveillance video of two guys using the card, but know they probably got the card from the actual person that took it. My good friend Tiff stayed with me the whole time as I dealt with the shock and she traveled with me to look at the video. Police are passing me to Sheriff and vice versa. Credit cards and my drivers license...home info and all. Been rough this week. Has created some distrust with folks. So, tough week....

Veggie tales....

We have started our veggie garden for the year. We love this time where we can go crazy and plant lots of things!

We've started with tomatoes, jalapenos, squash, strawberries, and cucumbers. We'll be adding more as the month rolls on. Any ideas?

What a Process

We knew stepping into the adoption world that this would be a process. A process it is. Frustration is already setting in and we are only beginning. The amount of paperwork is overwhelming. I feel like I have bugged our agency beyond belief with the amount of questions I ask. My "type A" self wants a simple checklist to just do. So, of course I have created one with color coding and all. :)

I joined an online group of other families adopting from India. Many of which are so much farther along than we are. They use acronyms that make me clueless, but I suppose we need to know at one point in this process. The group truly is so helpful and one family has already shared some organization support for the paperwork. The trouble comes in when I read their experiences and second guess how we have approached some things. But, I guess I need to remember processes have changed since their time....international laws seem to change on a daily basis.

In emailing my agency last night, they shared that this time is really a time for me to gather docs and secure a home study agency. In my educator way, I had to make a connection and call this the "independent study" portion. Makes it a bit more concrete for me. (Tiff and Sean, you'll understand when I say there have been limited phases of direct instruction here).

So, I'm working through this low point. I'm sure there are many more to come. But, I see the pictures of families that recently received their children and I can only hope that one day soon that will be Mark and I.

Mark was home today nursing me from some minor surgery. We used his "day off" to go get our fingerprinting done.


I literally try to use every opportunity we have to get another piece done. Before the surgery this morning, I ran over to my primary doctor to drop off her piece of documentation, ran to get blood work for the process and then off the surgery. Yes, I get a thrill from checking things off the list!

Home Study

We are pretty confident we found our home study agency!

We attended an information session for a home study agency on Wednesday. While we were there, we looked through all the pictures of children adopted from India. What a gorgeous sight!

If we go with the agency, we will attend a few more meetings, engage in an intake interview and have them visit our home. They have a director that works specifically with folks doing an international adoption. I only spoke with her once, but she seems to know a lot about Indian laws, which will be helpful to navigate the abyss of paperwork.

Now that I'm on Spring Break, it will be a lot of adoption stuff while working on dissertation work. When did I ever say I would actually be taking a real break?

Idol Battle

Besides The Amazing Race, the only reality show Mark and I agree on right now is American Idol. I picked my top three a while ago....I love these guys! Can't wait to watch them tonight!




Mark's pick...

Easter Crafts

I made these for a small Easter treat! The pockets have peppermint patties and the tall one in the back pulls out a Hershey's bar. Hoping to make a few more before Easter comes.

Lights Out!

Our lights are out for one hour to honor Earth Hour. Did you remember to turn your lights off?

My "right now" in numbers.....

21 teacher evaluations I need to complete in two weeks
4 months I have to finish chapters 1-3 of my dissertation to keep on track for Spring 2010 graduation
25 days until my babies at school have to take the big test
0 days I've made it to the gym the last few weeks
3 weeks of working through a home refinance
2 hours I really get to see my husband each day because of our busy schedules

1 document we have received for the adoption dossier....
34 more to go

Too much to do, so little time!

I guess I can't complain that I'm tired, I really do it to myself! Life is truly keeping me swamped these days. Between running a school, writing a dissertation (with classes) and now the adoption....I am tired!

We received the first of many "to-do" lists for the adoption last Monday. All I can say is...WOW! What a list! The very lengthy list was just for the Indian dossier. The home study will be a whole other issue. Speaking of which, I was on the hunt for a home study agency. Not having ever done this before, I don't have any idea what to ask or what qualities to look for. Oh, and trust me, I ask.... a lot! The one agency I spoke with on Friday seems good, but I have to find out about provider agreements and accreditation certificates.

So, in the meantime Mark and I will be starting on the other list...which includes notarizing just about everything we send in...and having it apostilled (which was a new vocabulary word for this school principal). This means everything we have notarized needs to be sent to the Secretary of State to confirm the notary is legit. Mark has the fun task of getting an original copy of his birth certificate and for his kids plus contacting the Secretary of State for each of them. Now I know why there was a good reason I did not leave Sacramento, the good old capitol of California!!

It's in the mail!

Today was the most exciting and nerve shaking day! I knew I wouldn't be able to get to the post office in time, so Mark was able to drop off our application in between work hours. So here it is....our application!!! There is no turning back now!

Want to be Grandparents (again)?

We've been out of touch for a while. Basically, doing a lot of deep soul searching and talking about this commitment we are about to step in.
After looking at our finances and seeing if the time is right, we have agreed it is. It will take A LOT of sacrifices on our part, but we are willing to do whatever we need (can we say a third or fourth job??).
Tonight was the last step before we send in the application. Mark and I went to tell my parents about our decision and get their full blessing and support as we take this emotional roller coaster. Nothing touched me more than hearing my dad say that "Somewhere out there, your child is waiting for you." Did we need to hear anything else?

A Big Leap

Before we were even married, I knew I could not wait to start a family with Mark. So, it was tough to find out about my infertility issues. Not impossible, but slim. Four years in to our marriage, slim is sure feeling like impossible. We looked into international adoption from India in our second year of marriage (high hopes), but found out that Indian law said we weren't married long enough to move forward. That, along with other Indian adoption laws, it looked like it wasn't possible (low hopes). A year later, we worked up the courage to try domestic adoption (high hopes). It takes a lot to put yourself out there because once you do, you expose your emotions. Here was a 2nd try. After speaking with one agency, they told us they wouldn't even accept our money because Indian babies aren't likely (low hopes). After doing some research, we saw an agency in San Francisco that has formerly worked through adoptions of Indian children. I called, they said highly unlikely (lower hopes). Emotions out there and another disappointment.
The roller coaster of emotions are hard. Heart wrenching. But, I'm ready to try again. Mainly because there's nothing else that is as desirable as starting a family with Mark.
In the last couple of weeks, I made contact with an agency for India adoptions. The first step is to get an OCI (Overseas Citizen of India) card that shows I am of Indian descent. With this card, a younger child is possible. I called the Indian consulate today....I need an Indian passport from a grandparent! Without it, no OCI. Without OCI, minimum of a 6 year old.
So, the hunt is on for an Indian passport of my grandparents. I'm thinking the odds are slim...

Oh TiVo, Let Me Count The Ways....

TiVo could be the best invention out there! I could write love poems to this powerful gadget. This week has been difficult, but today was TOUGH! I was able to come home to a comedic 30 Rock, tasty Top Chef and a lovely Ugly Betty....oh, and a supportive husband that took care of dinner and a comforting dessert :)

What's new?

Here are some things keeping me busy these days....

Work, work....oh, and work
Project 365
Bible in a year
UOP - doctoral studies
Trying to find time to workout
Finding time to see my husband between our busy schedules

And The Top Chef Is....

...not Shana, maybe Mark. Last night we made our first attempt at cooking my mom's traditional Indian recipes. Mark whipped up some curry shrimp and I handled the dal and roti. I had way more issues with Mark (in other words, Mark is the much better student). All in all, it was a decent meal for a first try. However, I don't do well with measurement....we have dal for days!!

One Word & Project 365

For those of you that don't know, a good friend of mine introduced me to the world of scrapbooking a few years ago. Since then, I've been hooked! Two of my favorite celeb scrapbookers, Ali Edwards and Becky Higgins provided challenges for 2009 - One Word (Ali) and Project 365 (Becky).

I picked one word as my theme for 2009....FERVOR. Mark smiled when I came up with this one, interesting but to the point. Every goal on my list, I hope to do with FERVOR. Wouldn't life be amazing if we all lived it with FERVOR?

Project 365 is to take a daily picture and journal it. I ordered a fantastic scrapbook kit to help me organize it. But, I thought I would post some of the pictures as I head out on the adventure. Here are a few....


January 7


January 6


January 2

It's that time

I've been wanting to start a blog for a while, so I thought I would finally give it a go.

In the Indian culture, "masala" is a mixture of spices ground together to make one ingredient. In our life, every day is a mixture of things to create the one life we live....so this blog will be our living record of the "daily masala" that happens.

Starting this was pretty easy. Mark is playing on his iphone and I started the blog. Presto.